Irk my life.
Otis College of Art and Design, T-shirt ‘Elevating Art Since 1918’. Davey Whitcraft, 2014.
Davey wearing orange is confusing my mind so much like is orange the new black? …Oh wait…
Davey on the internet confuses me.
Fall Season Preview 2014
Fact I kick off every new TV Season with this panel hosted by the Television Academy.
The perfect GIF set for today. Happy 50th, Molly Shannon!
For a while I thought I needed to be an extrovert, I needed to say what was on my mind, express my views out loud and lay out my feelings. I had this misconception that I was socially broken and lacked confidence because I froze up in conversations. So I tried to push myself this year to be more extroverted, because that’s what people like. I believed that’s what people wanted, that’s how you stand out from the wall, that’s how you get attention. I tried, I spoke about my feelings and said things, just to say things and then I’d beat myself up later for it and wonder why the fuck did I say that? I should’ve said this. I found myself pretending to like things, ugh… It’s exhausting. I got tired. I didn’t feel like myself. It was horrible. I hated it.
Then one night, I just got upset. What the fuck? What am I trying to prove? Why am I devaluing myself? Why do I think the quiet ones are socially challenged? I just got upset and said fuck it, If the people around me were true, then they would understand that my silence doesn’t mean I have nothing to say or that I am boring. They would know, that in my mind I’m absorbing the conversation, I’m observing the interaction, and I’m learning. Under the hood the engine is running.
I find pleasure in listening to others. People are constantly talking and naturally we love to talk about ourselves. If you engage in a conversation with me you’ll find that I ask a lot of questions and build on what you’re saying, because I want to learn about you. I love when people’s eyes light up when they speak passionately. I get surprised by their knowledge on a subject. I take note of their eyes and their hands and body language. I study every person I converse with.
I’m pro at body language and I have good intuition. I can sense when things are good, I can sense when the shit is about to hit the ceiling. I’ll ask, ‘Are you ok?’ and sometimes people will be honest but majority of the time they’ll brush me off and throw me a one word response. That’s one of the things that can hurt me. Is knowing that I put this effort building this friendship and you don’t trust me, to tell me what’s up.
I may have derailed a little, but this is the advantage of an introvert that I took for granted. Never again, will I put myself through this shit.
I was tagged by elliebfierce
- I am taking an Improv class at Second City, to help with my social anxiety. I’m enjoying it and I feel like myself.
- I was obsessed with the Big Bang Theory, it taught me how to embrace and be comfortable with my interest. I only use the term ‘was’ because I don’t keep up with the fandom as much anymore, but the show will always hold a special place in my heart.
- I am obsessed with Mindy Kaling the writer and her character Mindy Lahiri on The Mindy Project. Mindy has taught me to speak with conviction and stand up for myself. I’ve met her twice. #BeyoncePadThai
- I tried this year to be more extroverted but found myself pretending to like things. I am comfortable with being an introvert.
- I enjoy listening to others. How are you going to learn if you keep running your mouth?
- I’ve been living in Los Angeles for a little over 5 years now and with each passing year I feel like I’ve discovering a new part of the city.
- I enjoy volunteering. I don’t champion any particular cause, if I agree with the non-profits vision, I’m on board.
- Hawaii is my home and always will be. I will speak highly of it and carry the spirit of Aloha with me.
- I like food. Don’t ask me what do I want to eat because my honest answer will always be I don’t care. I believe in trying everything at least once.
- I genuinely love my job.